


Footsteps

by Fool_Arcana



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 06:50:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11307984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fool_Arcana/pseuds/Fool_Arcana
Summary: When it snows, you're meant to leave footsteps.





	Footsteps

  It had finished snowing a few minutes before Levi left his friends that night. He shivered against the frigid air and focused on the streetlights ahead of him. His boots left footprints in the snow as he walked back to the apartment he and Eren had shared. Said bright-eyed boy trailed after Levi with a cheerful smile. It was common for Levi's face to lack any sort of happiness, but Eren always tried to fix that; even now, he was trying to make him smile. "Come on, Levi," he said, barely stopping himself from trying to hold the other man's hand. He knew Levi wouldn't be able to notice. "I know it's hard and you're going to have trouble moving on, but I'll be here to help you, okay? I'll always help you as best as I can. I promise."

  The brush of the wind carried something. Levi could hear Eren faintly, but he brushed it off. Unable to hold it back, he collapsed onto his knees in the snow. Taking his gloved fist, he hit the ground until an anguished scream wretched in his throat. Eren leaned down and sighed, a frown making its way onto his features. "Eren," Levi whispered, shutting his eyes as tears flowed out. His sorrowful sobs contorting his face. "I love you..."

  "I love you, too," Eren smiled, straining to keep his own tears, "I'll always be here for you. Whether or not you know it, okay?" I was rare to see Levi cry and it was unheard of to hear him choke out sobs or hear him curse whatever he can at the top of his lungs. The streets were silent that night like it mocked him. He had grown used to happy chatter that it seemed like an unwinnable battle to bear on his shoulders. The silence in the air was crippling. 

  Levi's lungs strained and his throat gave out. Hushed whimpers echoed along the barren area. Eren shifted closer and stared at the green hoodie Levi wore. It was Eren's hoodie and a few sizes too big for Levi, but that didn't stop him from stealing it. Levi shifted in the snow, tears spilling out of his usually bored eyes like a broken faucet. Levi's breaths were heavy and uneven. His chest burned with grief and his lungs squeezed. "Why?" He whispered to nothing in particular, "why did this happen? How could it..?"

  "It's okay," Eren's reassurance was left unheard, but he continued, "it's not your fault, Levi. Please, don't think--"

  The short male stood. His face contorted in a grimace and his cheeks a bright red from the tears or cold, Eren couldn't tell. Eren stood and reached for the man as he walked, but he knew not to. Instead, all he could do was follow him, listening to the quiet sobs and sniffles of a man considered 'emotionless'. Eren wanted to help him after that. After all, they had attended many funerals together. Each one harder to bear than the last, but they made it through. Levi had gotten through the last funeral, but Eren didn't know if he'd get over this one. All Eren could do was watch over him and keep him safe. Eren's shoulders drooped as he followed Levi, acting a protector to the anguished man. He knew it would be hard to provide Levi with what he needed, but he could try.

  From that day onward, Levi felt completely alone. Despite Eren's attempts at comfort, he couldn't make the man smile and laugh like he used to. He knew it'd be impossible for him to see how hard he tried. Eren was unseen, unheard. He couldn't make Levi see him that night or any day after. He would spend his days locked up in their shared room clutching a pillow to his chest and sobbing, then his nights going through the liquor with the goal of forgetting clouding his mind. Eren watched him decay in a passive state. Each day, Eren tried to comfort him and each night, Eren would try hiding the liquor. Hange had visited many times only to be cursed at and kicked out. Eren would try apologizing, but he couldn't make the grief fade. Levi would dream of happier times where all was good. Eren could only watch as Levi cried in his sleep, hugging the pillow closer. Eren would encourage Levi to try and get back to writing his novel, after all, a writer's gotta write. 

  It would be months before Levi started to talk to Hange and Erwin again. Eren would sit at the table with them while they ate dinner, but he didn't fail to notice the grim look on Levi's face. He'd mess with his wedding ring underneath the table while keeping up his bored facade. Only Eren got to see the truth. Once they left, Levi would clean up and then go back to their bedroom. Eren had laid next to him one night and did his best to comfort. Levi barely slept. It was like he reverted to the shell of a man Eren first met years ago. The man who didn't open up and who kept pushing him away until Eren finally got him to talk. It was a careful relationship at the start. Levi never smiled at him until he ran around Hange's house shouting a German song with Armin. 

  Eren began to reminisce their time together. Levi was the grumpy man at the Christmas party who left the room when Hange started singing him 'Happy Birthday'. Levi was the scary man in the vampire costume who flipped the table after losing a board game. Eren had been terrified of talking to him until Mikasa and Armin pushed him into Levi at Erwin's birthday party. Levi had been the one to invite him to the balcony and they spent the night drinking Erwin's expensive wine and talking about how Jean had a horseface or how Nile Dok was an ass. Eren remembered getting tears in his eyes when he heard Levi laugh for the first time. Now, Eren was tearing up again, but not at Levi's laugh. The smaller man's body was shaking and each sob seemed more sorrowful than the last. "Levi..." Eren whispered to the ceiling, "Levi, please. It's over now, there's no need to be sad, okay? I'm here for you." Levi continued to sob into the pillow, drowning in the smell he loved, wearing the hoodie he never took off. "Remember when I proposed?" Eren angled his head toward's Levi. He had yet to cut his hair and the undercut was lacking. "That was funny. I want you to smile again, like how you did when I pulled out that ring." Eren held up his own hand to look at the band. "I love you so much, Levi Ackerman, I want to make you happy for as long as I live and every day after. Remember? I had to practice in front of the mirror for a month."

  Eren leaned over and draped an arm across Levi, burying his face into the crook of his neck and inhaling. "I love you so fucking much, brat. That's what you said to me. Mikasa told me you'd cry, but I was the one crying. I joked about having Windex as a party gift and you actually did it with pride. Remember where we got married? It was during winter and we went outside to make snow angels after the dinner. Remember how I talked about having kids one day and you told me to just get a cat? I'm sorry I never got us a cat. I know you love cats."

  Eren relaxed when Levi began to fall asleep. Tears continued to pool beneath the man and quiet sobs kept the room from being quiet. Eren wanted to be there for him even if he didn't know how hard he tried. He would do it. He would comfort him with all his might and project all his love. Every ounce of his being. Levi lost many people and each one left their fair share of emotional scars. Levi was strong enough to recover. Eren hoped he'd continue the trend. He remembered the night of the funeral and how Levi was so broken on the sidewalk. He was still very shattered, but Eren couldn't get the image out of his head of Levi crumpled on the ground, his throat closed with the grief. He knew he couldn't do much from then on.

  For only one of them left footprints in the snow.


End file.
